Monday, August 5, 2013

A new understanding

Sadie likes to bounce, not rock to calm down/sleep.  Sometimes she likes to rock, but mainly she likes to bounce. We blame this on my running with her while I was pregnant (which I would do again in a heartbeat).  Regardless, your arms get tired of bouncing her sometimes, so we have brought down the big exercise ball from upstairs to sit on to bounce.  It works wonders!

Yesterday when I was bouncing her, I was singing typical children songs until I realized that she really didn't know those were children songs and I could not sing the twinkle twinkle little star/ABC tune one more time (little girl loves it, I even did as much of the ABC song in Spanish that I could remember).  So as I was thinking about what I wanted to sing her, I thought about hymns.  Sadie will not grow up with them. (Sing a hymn to her if you see her!)   I feel like this might be the beginning of a "back in my day" explanation that I have for her when she gets older.  In our church as with most churches now, we have these wonderful praise and worship songs, so she will not open her hymnal to page whatever to sing on Sunday mornings.    This realization made me sad.  So being a good Baptist I started with number 2 from baptist hymnal and sang a few other hymns too.

When I was singing "How Great Thou Art," and got to the third verse (I don't know the second b/c Baptists only sing verses 1,3 and 4), I absolutely broke down in tears.  

"And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!"

I didn't think about it until I sang it, but there I was holding my child.  My sweet baby girl that I prayed for so much.  My sweet baby girl that I worked so hard to bring healthy into this world.  My sweet baby girl that I could watch sleep for hours, would do whatever I have to in order to keep her safe, who has taught me to love beyond anything I knew I could and I am singing about how God willingly gave His Son for us.   I couldn't fathom before the sacrifice that was made for us.  Yes, I appreciated it and was thankful beyond measure, but to hold my own child and think about what actually happened, to hold my own child and think of the faith of Abraham bringing Isaac to the altar.  Y'all, it got real.  Today, my understanding has changed, my point of view is so different and my appreciation for that ultimate Sacrifice has grown.  How true these words are today.

"Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!"

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