Out of Control

As a teacher, it is important to maintain control.  If you lose control of your classroom, you're in trouble.  Let's just be completely honest though, its happened at some point for all of us. There's almost a momentary panic as you regain control of your classroom to continue on with what you had planned.

Two years ago as a pregnant, diabetic momma, I realized just how little control that I actually had.  I could be healthy, I could do everything that I read to do to take care of this tiny little girl growing in my belly, but when it came down to it, I was really not the one in control.  That was at first a scary realization that later turned into almost relief.  It took some stress away and allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy with Sadie.  

Every step of motherhood has been a reminder of my lack of control.  She cries and sometimes I cannot fix it.  She picks up germs regardless of my attempts to prevent it and she ends up sick.  She's ready to play at bedtime or wants to sleep late on days that we need to get ready to go to school.  I'm not in control and that's okay because she's still a pretty awesome little girl.

The biggest area that I have felt out of control or helpless as a momma is with her right hip.  At 2 months, Sadie's pediatrician found a hip click that the orthopedic surgeon diagnosed as hip dysplasia after seeing a sonogram of her hips.  She began wearing the pavlik harness full time.  It did not seem to be making a big difference, so she moved into the more restrictive rhino brace.  The rhino brace seemed to be helping, so early last spring she moved to only wearing it at night.  Late in the spring, x-rays of her hip showed that the improvement had stopped, the angle that her hip is in the socket was too shallow still.  The doctor suggested that the brace was not showing improvement, to leave it off and return for our August x-ray, but that more than likely she would be having surgery at 18 months.  I continued having her wear the brace, because at that point what could it hurt?  In August, her hip was improving significantly enough to give Sadie more time.  She continued to wear the brace and we actually bought a new one to better fit her ever growing little body.

Yesterday we had our follow up appointment for Sadie.  The x-ray showed that her right hip had not improved from the August visit.  This was not the news that we had expected or wanted to hear.  Our doctor is giving us the gift of a few more months.  We will go back at the end of April for a follow up.  If her hip has improved, we will continue on x-rays every few months with follow up appointments.  This however does not seem to be likely given the x-ray from this last time.  The doctor feels that more than likely, Sadie's hip will not show improvement.  This will mean that she will have surgery at the beginning of the summer to correct the angle that her hip is in the socket, followed by 6 weeks in a cast without the ability to walk.  

I'm sure you can imagine our reaction after the appointment yesterday.  We've known all along that this was a possibility, but were hoping that fixing her hip would not come to surgery.  Not fixing it would result in major problems in her teen years and up (right now, you can't tell by looking at her or watching her walk that anything is wrong), so clearly, it is something that has to be fixed.  We will again have her continue to wear the brace at night, because at this point, what could it hurt?

So what I'm asking of you is that you join us for the next 4 months in praying for Sadie's right hip.  Please pray boldly that God would choose to completely heal her hip.  That the x-ray at the end of April, will show that her hip is growing in at completely the correct angle.  If it is just slightly improved, we will continue the appointments every 4 months with surgery hanging in the balance each time.  

I know that this may not be what is in His plan.  I've been diabetic for more than half of my life, so I get it.  God has used my diabetes to allow me to reach people in ways that I never could have without it.  So I do get it.  Please pray boldly for complete healing, but please also pray that if completely healing her hip with just the brace is not in His will, that He would prepare us.

Pray that He would:

      *prepare us to hear the news in April

      *prepare us to make plans and arrangements for the surgery

      *prepare us physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially for the surgery, recovery and to support our sweet baby girl in any way needed

      *prepare a sweet 2-year old to deal with the fear of surgery, a cast and being unable to walk

      *prepare Sadie to walk again quickly after getting the cast off

      *completely heal and repair her hip with this one surgery

Thank you for coming alongside of us in this journey.